Athena
Advice Columnist for Devin Olson Magazine
Certified bedroom myth-buster, Athena is your go-to sex advice columnist with a knack for turning awkward questions into empowering, no-BS conversations. When she’s not writing about orgasms and open communication, she’s probably testing lube viscosity like it’s a science fair project. She loves science.
Let’s cut the crap—you’ve been fantasizing about a threesome. Maybe it’s two girls. Maybe it’s you, her, and another dude. Maybe it’s just a wild idea that’s been banging around in your brain every time the sex gets a little too routine. And now… you want to bring it up to your girlfriend without blowing up your entire relationship in the process.
Good luck.
Just kidding. You can do this—if you do it right. Here’s how to shoot your shot without being a total tool about it:
1. Don’t Be a Horny Caveman
Yes, you’re horny. Yes, this is a fantasy. But if you just blurt out “babe, what if we added another chick?” over pizza and Netflix, don’t be surprised if she looks at you like you just grew a second head.
Be a human. Use your words. Lead with curiosity, not your dick.
2. Make It About You Two
This isn’t a chance for you to live out your Pornhub dreams while she sits there like an unpaid extra. If you make it about “getting more ass,” she’ll see right through it—and probably shut it down hard.
Try this instead:
“Okay, this might sound wild, but I’ve been thinking about fantasies lately… and one of mine involves the two of us getting a little experimental. Like, inviting someone in. No pressure—just something I wanted to talk about.”
See? Smooth. Sexy. No begging.
3. Pick the Right Moment (Read: NOT Post-Orgasm)
You know that blissed-out moment right after sex when you’re like “damn, I could do anything”? Yeah, don’t bring up a threesome then. It’ll either feel like a buzzkill or make her question whether what you just did was enough for you.
Instead, find a chill, private moment—maybe when you’re talking about fantasies, kinks, or just being a little naughty over drinks. Make it fun. Not a presentation with charts and bullet points.
4. Gauge Her Vibe Before You Go Full Freak Mode
If your girlfriend hasn’t ever expressed interest in other women, group sex, or general boundary-pushing, maybe don’t launch into your dream scenario with her and the cute barista from down the street.
Start slow. Ask her about her fantasies. See where she’s at. Maybe she’s into it. Maybe not. But if she says, “I’ve always wondered what it’d be like with another girl…” then congratulations, you’ve unlocked Level One.
5. Lay Out the Ground Rules Like Adults in Heat
If she is curious, this is not the moment to fist bump and start scrolling through Instagram for “options.” Talk it out:
- Would it be someone you both know?
- Are there any no-go zones?
- What happens if someone catches feelings?
- Is this a one-time thing or something more?
Hot sex starts with hard conversations. Handle your business.
6. If She’s Not Into It, Don’t Be a Whiny Baby
Look—she’s allowed to not be into it. And that doesn’t make her boring, or insecure, or selfish. It just means she values the relationship as it is. Respect that.
If you pout, nag, or keep “joking” about it, you’re not being edgy—you’re being a douchebag. And that’s the fastest way to kill your sex life entirely.
7. Don’t Make It Weird After
If she is down and it actually happens? Don’t get clingy with the third. Don’t overanalyze every move afterward. And please, for the love of god, don’t go texting the guest star without your girlfriend knowing. This is a team sport—play it like one.
Final Thoughts
Threesomes are like fire: hot, wild, and totally capable of burning your house down if you’re careless. But if you handle it with maturity, communication, and a little finesse, you might just unlock a new level of intimacy (and insanity) together.
Just don’t be the guy who brings it up at Thanksgiving dinner, the night before your wedding, that sort of thing. That’s a bad idea.
Got questions? Wanna workshop your “threesome pitch”? Slide in the comments—we’ll get you laid or get you laughed at. Either way, it’ll be fun.